What do you call a snail on a ship?
A snailor.

How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced?
A buck an ear.

A guy was walking down the street when he noticed a little boy walking aroundwith a piece of steak on his head. So he asked, "Little boy, why do you have apiece of steak on your head?""I'm not a boy," the boy answered. "I'm a fork."

Why did the invisible man look in the mirror?
To make sure he still wasn't there.

How do you know when there's a elephant under your bed?
Your nose is pressed against the ceiling.