Top rated jokes

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What did the duck say when she bought some lipstick?
Put it on my bill.
  • Currently 3.6/5 Stars.
tags: duck
two irish men walk into a bar



you thoght one of them would have seen it!
  • Currently 3.6/5 Stars.
tags: n/a
Rabbit is hopping along the forest one day, when he comes upon Bear taking a dump. Bear says, "Rabbit, do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?" Rabbit replies, "No Bear, I don't. Why do you ask?" So Bear grabs Rabbit and wipes his ass with him.
  • Currently 3.6/5 Stars.
tags: bear stick rabbit
"A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.

"The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: 'My friend is dead! What can I do?'

"The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: 'Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.'

"There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: 'OK, now what?'"
  • Currently 3.6/5 Stars.
What is brown and sticky?

A stick!
  • Currently 3.57143/5 Stars.
tags: stick
Did you hear about the fly who flew through a screen door at full speed?
Strained himself.
It was another fine mesh he got himself into.
  • Currently 3.5/5 Stars.
tags: fly
What kind of coat does a vampire wear in the rain?
A wet one.
  • Currently 3.5/5 Stars.
tags: vampire
What holds the moon up?
Moonbeams.
  • Currently 3.5/5 Stars.
tags: moon
What do you call a cow with a hysterectomy?
Decalfinated.
  • Currently 3.5/5 Stars.
tags: cow
A guy walked into a bar with his giraffe. He ordered a drink, and the giraffelay down beside him. The bartender barked angrily, "Excuse me, but you can'tleave that lying there!""Err," the man said, "It's not a lion. It's a giraffe."
  • Currently 3.5/5 Stars.
Results 41 - 51 of 963
Page: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 ... 97