Jokes tagged woman

Results 11 - 16 of 16
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An American business man takes a short business trip to Japan. He arrives on a Sunday night, with meetings on that Tuesday. Since he is in a foreign land, and is bored with nothing to do, he calls up a prostitute service. A Japanese woman arrives at the door with in the hour, and the two proceed to have sex with eachother. The woman is on top, and the entire time all she says is "hoshimoto." The man doesn't know what to think, since he doesn't understand what she's saying, but the woman appears to be having a good time, so they continue. After the climax, the man pays the woman and she leaves. The next day, the American decides to play golf with some of the Japanese people he will be meeting with the next day. The round is relatively standard except for the 18th hole. When it is the American man's turn to drive, he hits a hole in one. All the Japanese people start yelling in celebration, and the American doesn't know what to say, so he says the first Japanese word that pops into his head, "hoshimoto." One of the Japanese business men looks at him, and in a thick accent says: "What do you mean, 'wrong hole?'"
  • Currently 0/5 Stars.
A woman tells her friend that Interflora just delivered a bunch of flowers from her husband.

"Now I guess he'll want me to spend the entire weekend on my back with my legs in the air"

"Why?" asks her friend "Don't you have a vase?"
  • Currently 0/5 Stars.
A woman meets a gorgeous man in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together. They go back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that his bedroom is completely packed with sweet cuddly teddy bears. Hundreds of cute small bears on a shelf all the way along the floor. Cuddly medium-sized ones on a shelf a little higher. Huge enormous bears on the top shelf along the wall.

The woman is surprised that this guy would have a collection of teddy bears, especially one that's so extensive, but she decides not to mention this to him, and actually is quite impressed by this evidence of his sensitive side!

She turns to him, invitingly... they kiss...

After she has this intense night of passion with this sensitive guy, and they are lying there together in the afterglow, the woman rolls over and asks, smiling, "Well, how was it for you?" The guy yawns: "Help yourself to any prize from the bottom shelf."
  • Currently 0/5 Stars.
tags: woman bear bed
A woman is in the maternity ward, having just given birth to her baby. The doctor comes in, cradling the child in his arms. As he is about to give it to the woman, he drops it on the ground, kicks it into the wall then throws it out the window.

"OH MY GOD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY BABY?!?!?!"

The doctor turns to her, smiles, and says, "April Fools. It was a stillborn."
  • Currently 3.66667/5 Stars.
A bear walks in to a bar and says to the bartender, "give me a drink." The bartender says, "sorry, we don't serve bears." The bear says, "well, give me a drink or I'll eat that woman at the other end of the bar." The bartender says, "psh, go ahead." So the bear eats the woman and asks the bartender one more time to give him a drink. The bartender says, "we don't serve bears on drugs." The bear, clearly dumbfounded says, "what? I'm not on drugs." And the bartender says, "that was a bar-bitch-you-ate"
  • Currently 3/5 Stars.
Doctor to a woman: The good news is you don't have PMS...the bad news is your a bitch
  • Currently 2.75/5 Stars.
tags: woman bitch
Results 11 - 16 of 16
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