Jokes tagged weight

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A woman was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds."
When the woman returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds.
"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said. "Did you follow my instructions?"
The woman nodded. "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day."
"From hunger, you mean?" "No, from skipping."
  • Currently 4/5 Stars.
A man is a bus driver on Sesame Street and insists on meeting all of hisriders. At the first stop, two overweight women got on the bus; both are namedPatty. At the next stop, a mentally challenged boy named Ross got on.At the final stop, a disgusting man named Lester Freeze got on, took offhis shoes, and picked at his bunions.When the bus driver got home, his wife asked him if he met anyone new thatday. He said, "Two obese Patties, special Ross; Lester Freeze picks hisbunions on a Sesame Street bus."
  • Currently 1/5 Stars.
What does a vampire with a weight problem drink?

Blood light
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