Jokes tagged watson

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Sherlock Holmes and Watson are out camping - don't ask me why, probably on the track of some Barkervillian Hounds, or somesuch. In the middle of the night Sherlock rouses Watson and asks, "Watson, what can you deduce from the stars above us this evening?"

Watson replies, "Well, I can deduce a number of things. For example, from their clarity I can deduce that the morn will be clear and sunny. From the position of the constellations I can deduce that it is currently early June. Finally, I can deduce that it is approximately 4:30 in the morning. Why do you ask?"

Sherlock bites off: "Because I simply deduce that someone has stolen our tent!"
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tags: watson holmes
Holmes and Watson have come out of a country pub at the end of a long night of quaffing warm ale. As they wander down the road, they can just make out a tree in the darkness and head over to answer the call of nature. As they are mid-flow, Holmes asks Watson what he can deduce from the sound of his stream. Watson replies that he believes the tree to be an oak of between 100-150 years with some disease in the past causing a hollow in the centre. As he expounds further, Holmes cuts him off and snaps, 'From the sound you are making I deduce that you are pissing on my shoes'.
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Watson arrives back at 221b Baker St., to find Sherlock Holmes bent over his desk, with his trousers round his ankles and a citrus fruit up his arse.

"My god man!" bellows Watson, "whatever's going on?"

"Ah," says Holmes, "a lemon-entry, my dear Watson"
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Watson: From what school did you graduate, Holmes? Holmes: Elementary, my dear Watson, Elementary...
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