Jokes tagged water

Results 11 - 16 of 16
Page: 1 2

Why is the letter T like an island?

Because its in the middle of water!!!
  • Currently 0/5 Stars.
tags: water
A sculptor, a civil engineer and a computer scientist were arguing about the primacy of their professions.

"God created man out of clay," said the sculptor, "and so was clearly a sculptor."

"Before that," said the engineer, "He separated earth and waters from the chaos -- an immense feat of civil engineering. God was an engineer first."

"And how do you think," answered the computer scientist, "the chaos was made?"
  • Currently 0/5 Stars.
tags: god water
Two men are standing on a golf course. The first one steps up, tees his first ball, and positions himself for a swing. The man lifts his club, swings smoothly down and smacks the ball into the air. It sails off in a nice, long arc, but as it comes down the two men can see that it's heading straight for the water trap.

Just then, a wind picks up, and a lily pad is blown directly into the ball's path. The ball lands on the lily pad, and after a few seconds a frog hops up onto the pad, grabs the ball in its mouth, jumps off the pad and swims for shore.

When the frog reaches dry land, it spits out the ball, and no sooner has it disappeared into the water than a squirrel comes running up to the ball, grabs it in its paws, and scampers off across the grass. But before it can reach the trees, a hawk swoops down out of nowhere, grabs the squirrel in its talons, and begins to climb back up into the sky. Panicked and struggling to get free, the squirrel releases the ball from its paws, and with the altitude and speed gained from the hawk, the ball sails down in a long, clean fall straight into the hole. Hole in one.

The second man turns to the first, and says "OK, God. Are you going to play golf or are you going to fuck around?"
  • Currently 3.66667/5 Stars.
Q: What do you call a guy with no arms or legs floating in the water?

A: Bob
  • Currently 0/5 Stars.
tags: water arms
Jesus has been crucifixed and reappears to his disciples. He tells them that he will grant them a wish before he ascends into heaven.

The disciples get together and confer. After much arguing Peter says "Could you do that walking on water thing again? It was so cool".

Jesus smiles, agrees and the next day they set out onto the sea of Gallilee in Peter's boat. They stop far from the shore and Jesus steps off the side of the boat onto the water.

He immediately disappears under the surface and the disciples rush to drag him back into the better. Jesus looks flustered, but vows to have a second go.

Once again he steps off the boat and sinks quickly below the surface. The disciples drag him back and apologize for having asked him to walk on water.

But Peter begins to doubt in the Messiah and can't help asking why Jesus can't repeat the miracle. "Oh, I can", Jesus insists, "at least I could before I had these bloody holes in my feet".
  • Currently 3.5/5 Stars.
A priest, a rabbi and a minister are fishing in a canoe on a lake. The priest says "I'm gonna get some beer", steps out of the canoe on to the water and walks to shore. A short time later he walks back, with a 6 pack. The minister cannot beleive his eyes.

After some beer, the rabbi says "I need to take a leak". He stands up, steps onto the water and walks to shore, uses the bathroom by the docks, and walks back. The minister is mad with curiousity, but doesn't want the others to know that he's not holy enough to walk on the water.

Well, the minister decides to try it himself. He announces "I'm going to get some sandwhiches!", and steps off the boat. SPLASH!!!

The priest turns to the rabbi and says: "I guess we should have told him about those stepping-stones!"
  • Currently 0/5 Stars.
Results 11 - 16 of 16
Page: 1 2