Jokes tagged son

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Many years ago, a fisherman and his wife had twin sons, but they didn'tknow what to name them. The husband said, "Let's just wait. If we waitlong enough, the names will simply occur to us." After several weeks,they noticed something peculiar about the children. When left alone, oneboy would face the sea, and the other would face inland."Let's call the boys Toward and Away," suggested the fisherman, and his wifeagreed.Years passed, and one day the fisherman told his adult sons, "It's timethat you learned how to make a living from the sea." The fisherman andhis sons provisioned their ship and set sail for a three-month voyage. Atthe voyage's end, the fisherman returned alone."What happened?" his wife cried."We were barely one day out to sea," the fisherman explained solemnly,"when Toward hooked a great fish. Toward fought long and hard, but the fishwas great and strong. For whole week they wrestled upon the waves, yeteventually the great fish started to win the battle, and Toward was pulledover the side. He was swallowed whole, and we never saw either of themagain.""Oh dear!" the wife cried. "What a huge fish that must havebeen! What a terrible fish! What a horrible fish!""Yes, it was, but you should have seen the one that got Away."
  • Currently 3/5 Stars.
There were three Indian squaws. One slept on deerskin; another slept on elk skin; the third slept onthe skin of a hippopotamus. All three became pregnant.Each of the first two had a baby boy. The one whoslept on hippo skin had twin boys. This proves thatthe squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons ofthe squaws of the other two hides.
  • Currently 2/5 Stars.
tags: indian son baby boy
Why did the mother of twins name both of her sons Edward?
Because two Eds are better than one.
  • Currently 0/5 Stars.
tags: son
A man had a son, but he was born as only a head. The man lovedhis son very much and took care of him, even though he was only a head.When the son turned 21, the man took him to a bar."One whiskey for my boy, barkeep!" said the man."You don't want to do that," said the bartender."He's a man, just turned 21! Get him a whiskey!""I'm serious," the bartender insisted. "It's a bad idea.""Just do it!" ordered the man.So the bartender got the head a whiskey, and when he drank it, hesprouted a body! The head and his dad were excited, but the bartenderwasn't pleased."Wow, another one of those for my boy!" yelled the man."It's a really bad idea," the bartender stated."Just give him a stupid whiskey! Geez, I'm payin', ain't I?" said theman, a little frustrated now.So the bartender gave the son a whiskey, and he grew an arm! The father madethe bartender give more whiskey to the head, and he grew another arm, a leg,another leg, and finally the head was a whole person.The son was so excited that he ran into the street, screaming andshouting happily, and was hit by a car and died."I told you," the bartender said. "You should've quit while he was a head."
  • Currently 3.5/5 Stars.
Chief Running Water had two sons. What were their names?
Hot and Cold.
  • Currently 0/5 Stars.
tags: son water
What does a proud computer call his little son?
A microchip off the old block.
  • Currently 1/5 Stars.
tags: son
What did Carlos the fireman name his twin newborn sons?

Jose and Hose B.
  • Currently 0/5 Stars.
tags: fire son
A man walks into a bar with a head under his arm, he sits down at the bar and places the head on the table.

"Can I have a beer for me and my son please?" The barman looks a bit puzzled but gives them both a drink.

The man tilts the boy's head back and pours the drink down his throat. Suddenly like magic the boy grows a torso.

"Wow, I am amazed I have never seen that before", said the barman. "I'll give him a drink on the house." he added.

The man again pours the drink down his throat and bam, the boy grows an arm. The people at the bar are so amazed by this they keep on buying the boy a drink until finally he has a full body.

"Right dad, I've had enough, meet you back home." At this the boy opened the door, stepped outside and got run over by a bus.

The barman is distraught, "I am so sorry, if I knew that was going to happen I would have never bought him that drink. "Don't worry," the man said "he should of quit while he was ahead."
  • Currently 0/5 Stars.
Two brothers are separated at birth, one going to live in the big city and the other on a farm in the coutry. Eventually, the two learn of each other and there's a happy reunion on the country brother's farm. Having never been to a farm before, the city brother asks for a tour. The farmer shows him the cows, the barn, horses, and the corn fields before coming to the pig sty, where he proudly introduces his prized possesion: a three-legged sow.

"That sow is finest animal to ever live," proclaimed the farmer, "She saved my three children from the barn when it was burning down."

"When I fell from the tree over yonder, she ran all the way to town and fetched the doctor," he continued.

"And, when my wife went into labor in the middle of the night, she delivered my yongest son!"

Amazed, the city brother remarked, "that's quite a pig. But, what happened to her that she only has three legs?"

"Well, hell," said the farmer, "be a damn shame, eat a pig like that all at once."
  • Currently 3/5 Stars.
A Jew, a Catholic and a Mormon are sitting around talking about their families.

The Jewish guy says, "I have four sons. One more boy and I can have a basketball team."

The Catholic says, "Well, I have eight sons one more, and I'll have me a baseball team."

Not to be outdone, the Morman says, "I've got 17 wives. One more hole and I'll have myself a golf course."
  • Currently 0/5 Stars.
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