Jokes tagged green

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Whats green and flys through the air?



Super Pickle
  • Currently 0/5 Stars.
tags: fly green
What?s green and fluffy and comes from mars?

A martian-mellow
  • Currently 0/5 Stars.
tags: green
How do you catch a polar bear?



First dig an ice hole. Then put a whole bunch of little green peas on the outside, and when the polar bear comes to take a pee you kick him in the ice hole.
  • Currently 3.25/5 Stars.
tags: cat bear green
Q: What's the difference between a chicken and a grape?

A: They're both green except for the chicken.
  • Currently 0/5 Stars.
tags: green chicken
Q: What's green and has wheels?

A: Grass. I was just kidding about the wheels.
  • Currently 0/5 Stars.
tags: green
I took the day off work and decided to go out golfing. I was on the second hole when I noticed a frog sitting next to the green. I thought nothing of it and was about to swing when I heard, "ribbit ... 9 iron."

I looked around and didn't see anyone. Again, I heard, "ribbit 9 iron." I looked at the frog and decided to prove the frog wrong, put the club away, and grabbed a 9 iron.

Boom! I hit it 10 inches from the cup. I was shocked. I said to the frog, "Wow that's amazing. You must be a lucky frog, eh? The frog replies, "ribbit lucky frog." so I decided to take the frog with him me the next hole. "What do you think frog?" I asked. "ribbit 3 wood."

I took out a 3 wood and, Boom! Hole in one. I was befuddled and didn't know what to say. by the end of the day, i golfed the best game of golf in my life and asked the frog, "ok where to next?"

The frog replies, "ribbit las vegas".

We went to las vegas and said, "Ok frog, now what?" The frog says, "ribbit roulette." Upon approaching the roulette table, I asked, "what do you think I should bet?" The frog replies, "ribbit $3000, black 6."

Now, this is a million-to-one shot to win, but after the golf game I figured what the heck.

Boom! tons of cash comes sliding back across the table.

I took my winnings and bought the best room in the hotel. I sat the frog down and said, "frog, I don't know how to repay you. you've won me all this money and I am forever grateful."

The frog replies, "ribbit kiss me." I figured why not, since after all the frog did for me, he deserves it. with a kiss, the frog turns into a gorgeous and well-developped 15-year-old girl.

"And that, your honor, is how the girl ended up in my room. So help me God"
  • Currently 2.5/5 Stars.
q: what's green and yellow and hangs from trees?

a: gorilla snot.
  • Currently 0/5 Stars.
tags: green tree
q: What's got four legs, is fuzzy and green, and would kill you if it came out of a tree at you?

a: A pool table.
  • Currently 0/5 Stars.
tags: green tree
Results 11 - 18 of 18
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