I came home the other day to find my girlfriend dipping twenty dollar billsin batter and frying them. I said, "There you go again, frittering ourmoney away!"
Jokes tagged girlfriend
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A New Zealander walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says, "Darling, this is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache."
His girlfriend is lying in bed and replies:
"I think you'll find that's a sheep, you idiot."
The man says, "I think you'll find I wasn't talking to you."
His girlfriend is lying in bed and replies:
"I think you'll find that's a sheep, you idiot."
The man says, "I think you'll find I wasn't talking to you."
Wife: "Would you get a girlfriend again if I died?"
Husband: "Of course not."
Wife: "Why not? Don't you like being married?"
Husband: "Ok, I would marry again." (annoyed)
Wife: "Oh..." (sad)
Husband: -silence-
Wife: "Would you live in our house?"
Husband: "Sure, it's a great house."
Wife: "Would you two sleep in our bed?"
Husband: "Where else would we sleep?"
Wife: "Would you let her drive my car?"
Husband: "I guess I would, it's almost new."
Wife: "Would she use my golf clubs, too?"
Husband: "No, she's left handed."
Wife: -silence-
Husband: "Of course not."
Wife: "Why not? Don't you like being married?"
Husband: "Ok, I would marry again." (annoyed)
Wife: "Oh..." (sad)
Husband: -silence-
Wife: "Would you live in our house?"
Husband: "Sure, it's a great house."
Wife: "Would you two sleep in our bed?"
Husband: "Where else would we sleep?"
Wife: "Would you let her drive my car?"
Husband: "I guess I would, it's almost new."
Wife: "Would she use my golf clubs, too?"
Husband: "No, she's left handed."
Wife: -silence-
So im laying in bed with my girlfriend the other night and she looks over at me and says "Honey, you know, you're a pedophile."
I look back and her and say "That's an aweful big word for an 8 year old!"
I look back and her and say "That's an aweful big word for an 8 year old!"
My girlfriend said "I've got an itch between my toes". So I asked "Which toes?". She answers "My big toes".
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