Jokes tagged girlfriend

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I came home the other day to find my girlfriend dipping twenty dollar billsin batter and frying them. I said, "There you go again, frittering ourmoney away!"
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tags: girlfriend
What did the skunk use to contact his girlfriend?
His smellular phone!
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tags: girlfriend
You might be a redneck if someone shouts hoedown and your girlfriend hits the floor.
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A New Zealander walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says, "Darling, this is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache."

His girlfriend is lying in bed and replies:

"I think you'll find that's a sheep, you idiot."

The man says, "I think you'll find I wasn't talking to you."
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Wife: "Would you get a girlfriend again if I died?"

Husband: "Of course not."

Wife: "Why not? Don't you like being married?"

Husband: "Ok, I would marry again." (annoyed)

Wife: "Oh..." (sad)

Husband: -silence-

Wife: "Would you live in our house?"

Husband: "Sure, it's a great house."

Wife: "Would you two sleep in our bed?"

Husband: "Where else would we sleep?"

Wife: "Would you let her drive my car?"

Husband: "I guess I would, it's almost new."

Wife: "Would she use my golf clubs, too?"

Husband: "No, she's left handed."

Wife: -silence-
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tags: girlfriend bed
So im laying in bed with my girlfriend the other night and she looks over at me and says "Honey, you know, you're a pedophile."

I look back and her and say "That's an aweful big word for an 8 year old!"
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tags: girlfriend bed
My girlfriend said "I've got an itch between my toes". So I asked "Which toes?". She answers "My big toes".
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