Where did the Martian put his teacup?
On his flying saucer.

Why don't seagulls fly in the bay?
Because they don't want to be bagels.

Why were the inventors of the airplane correct in thinking they could fly?
Because they were Wright.

A group of friars lived in a monastery. As with many monasteries, the friarsfound it necessary to run a small business to support themselves. They ran afloral shop. One day one of the friars brought in an exquisite find: a Venusfly trap. It was such a cute thing, they couldn't bear to sell it, so theyjust kept it on display. But after a while, it grew so big that flies were nolonger enough to satisfy it. It ate cockroaches, but it kept growing. Itate mice, but it still kept growing. It ate chipmunks, squirrels, cats, thenraccoons and dogs and ponies. Finally the villagers got wise to this andattempted to put a stop to it. But try as they might, no one could. One wayor another, the friars outsmarted the townsfolk and raided their farms oflarge animals. Finally the villagers pooled their money and hired aprofessional named Hugh to come in and capture the friars. Hugh stormed themonastery, destroyed the fly trap, captured the friars, and turned them overto the police. The moral of this story is: Only Hugh can prevent floristfriars.

R. Boles was an amazing man. Every day, he would climb a palm tree andfly it to work. Word got to the military about the abilities of thisman. They brought him to the base to see if the rumors were true and ifhis abilities might be used. The man was worried because he could see nopalm trees. But nobody would listen. They told him, "Trees is trees,right?"Anyway, they brought him to the general, who wanted him to demonstrate what hecould do. He said, "But sir, this is an elm tree."But the general snarled back, "Trees is trees, right? Now get in that tree,and fly."The man climbed the tree and tried to fly it. He tried and tried again, butthe tree wooden even budge. The general got impatient. "What's the matter,son? Can't you fly trees?""Sir, that's what I've been trying to tell everyone. I'm a palm pilot!"