Jokes tagged english

Results 1 - 6 of 6
Your search returned one page of results

Why do they call a horse a horse?
Because they speak English.
  • Currently 0/5 Stars.
tags: horse english
There was an English man,and a Scottish man,and they were playing tag.The scottish man fell down a deep hole.The

English man asked,"Is it dark down there?"The Scottish Man

replied,"I don't know,I can't see"
  • Currently 0/5 Stars.
tags: english
A scotsman, an englishman and an irishman walk into a bar and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of a joke?"
  • Currently 1/5 Stars.
Guy walks into a petshop and sees three parrots, priced $500.-, $1,500.-, $2,500.- and $30,000.-, so he asks the owner, "Hey why are those parrots so expensive ?"

"Well," says the owner, "that first one can speak english, german and mandarin perfectly and translates any sentence you desire, from one language into another."

"What about the second one ?"

"Well, that parrot not only knows four languages, but can also type business letters using a computer"

"And the third one ?"

"Oh, that one can speak seven languages, use the computer, e-mail, internet and does online research for you."

"Amazing ! And what about the last one ?", says the guy.

"Oh ! ... that one doesn't do anything at all. Just sits there all day long."

"Then why is it so expensive ?!?!?!"

The owner takes the guy to the side and whispers, "Well, I haven't seen it do anything, but the other three parrots call it BOSS".
  • Currently 0/5 Stars.
An Englishman, a Frenchman and a Pole are in town for the Olympics, but they don't have tickets. The Englishman suggests a plan: "See that pile of construction material over there? We can take something from there and pretend to be an athlete, and they'll let us in."

The Englishman takes a long pole and carries it to the stadium gate. He tells the ticket taker, "Robertson, England, Pole Vaulting," and he is allowed in.

The Frenchman picks up a hammer and goes to the gate, saying "Danton, France, Hammer Toss." He too is let in.

The Pole grabs a roll of chain-link fence. At the gate, he says, "Koslowski, Poland, Fencing."
  • Currently 0/5 Stars.
tags: french english
A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. THe employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.
  • Currently 2.8/5 Stars.
Results 1 - 6 of 6
Your search returned one page of results