Jokes tagged duck

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Daniel and Ginny are walking down the street one evening. As they pass one house, they hear loud shouting and crashes inside. Peter and Elizabeth Jones live there and are having a fierce argument. At the height of the quarrel, Peter picks up a table lamp, rips it out of the wall, and hurls it at Elizabeth. Elizabeth ducks, and the lamp flies past her through the window. It sails over Daniel and Ginny's heads. Daniel looks up and exclaims, "Soft! What light through yonder window breaks!"
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tags: duck
A deer, a skunk, and a duck went to the grocery store. When they were readyto check out, the deer didn't have a buck, the skunk didn't have a scent,so they put it all on the duck's bill.
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tags: duck
Why do elephants have big flat feet?
To stamp out flaming ducks.
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tags: duck elephant
Why do ducks look so sad?
Because when they preen their feathers, they look down in the mouth.
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tags: duck
Did you hear about the guy that threw away a duck?
He got down in the dumps.
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tags: duck
Why do elephants have big flat feet?
To stomp out burning ducks.
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tags: duck elephant
Why do ducks have flat webbed feet?
To stomp out forest fires.
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tags: duck fire
When ducks fly in a V, why is one side of the V longer than the other?
There are more ducks on that side.
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tags: duck fly
Why do ducks have big flat feet?
To stamp out forest fires.
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tags: duck fire
What do you have when you have a cow and two ducks?
Milk and quackers.
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tags: duck cow
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