Jokes tagged cat

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What does a cat say when he likes something?
It's purrrfect.
  • Currently 2.66667/5 Stars.
tags: cat
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal?
He wanted to transcend dental medication.
  • Currently 0/5 Stars.
tags: cat
Why did the bear run around his bed?
He wanted to catch up on his sleep.
  • Currently 1/5 Stars.
tags: cat bear bed
How do you catch a tame rabbit?
The tame way -- unique up on him.
  • Currently 0/5 Stars.
tags: cat rabbit
Where does the catcher sit for dinner?
Behind the plate.
  • Currently 3/5 Stars.
tags: cat
How do you catch a green elephant?
Paint him red and catch him with the red elephant trap.
  • Currently 3.33333/5 Stars.
How do you catch a unique rabbit?
Unique up on him.
  • Currently 0/5 Stars.
tags: cat rabbit
Atoms have mass? I didn't know they were Catholic.
  • Currently 1/5 Stars.
tags: cat catholic
Why did the cat join the Red Cross?
So it could become a first-aid kit.
  • Currently 1/5 Stars.
tags: cat red
This guy's walking home from work, really late, in the pitch black of night.There isn't another soul on the street. Suddenly, from out of the gloom,comes an ominous bump...bump...bump. He looks behind him and spots afurtive, shadowy thing coming down the street after him. Unnerved, he picksup his pace, finally breaking into a panicked run. He looks behind himagain, and the shadow is closer. Bump...bump...bump. The glow of astreetlight illuminates the shadow momentarily, and, to the man's horror, itis a coffin, bumping down the sidewalk. He quickens his pace, running asfast as he can go, but the coffin only pursues more quickly.BUMP...BUMP...BUMP! He reaches his house, fumbles frantically for hiskeys, and slips in the door just as the coffin reaches his front steps. Heslams the door and leans against it, catching his breath.Bump...bump...bump. There is a moment's silence, and the man wondersif he dares to breathe. Suddenly.... Bump...bump...bump...Bump...BUMP!BUMP! BUMPBUMPBUMPCRAAAAASH!!!! He rebounds away as the door breaks offits hinges. Scrambling to his feet, he charges up the stairs, and the coffinraces after. BUMP BUMP BUMP BUMP! Terrified, he backs into a cornerand starts throwing everything within reach at the coffin -- a handful ofpapers, a vase, a box of crackers, a lamp -- but the coffin keeps coming!BUMP BUMP BUMP BUMP BUMP INCHESFROMHISFACE, and nothing seems to slow it down!His hands fall upon a bottle of cough syrup, and he throws that at the coffin,too!The coffin stops.
  • Currently 3/5 Stars.
tags: cat mom stop black
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