Jokes tagged bartender

Results 11 - 21 of 30
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A man, a lawyer, a redneck, a nun, a blonde, a dog, and a priest walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
  • Currently 3/5 Stars.
so a polar bear walks into a bar and says: "i'd like a...................................... beer."



and the bartender says: "hey man, what's with the big pause?"
  • Currently 1/5 Stars.
tags: bartender bear
One day, a tall man in a cowboy hat walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"
  • Currently 1/5 Stars.
Julius Caesar walked into a bar. He said to the bartender, "I'd like a martinus."The bartender, a little confused, says, "Don't you mean a martini?"Caesar replied, "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it."
  • Currently 0/5 Stars.
tags: bartender
A neutron went into a bar and asked the bartender, "How much for a beer?"The bartender replied, "For you, no charge."
  • Currently 3.66667/5 Stars.
tags: bartender
A rabbi, a nun, and a horse walk into a bar, bartender says "What is this, some kind of joke?"
  • Currently 1/5 Stars.
a white guy walked into a bar and asked for a for a shot of tequila and after he was finished he said TGIF. then a mexican guy walked in and also ordered a shot of tequila and after he was finished he said SPIT so the bartender looked at the whited and mexican guy and asked what the white guy was saying. so the white guy told him thank god its friday. Then the bartender asked the mexican what he meant and the mexican said stupid pendejo its thursday.
  • Currently 0/5 Stars.
A byte walks into a bar and orders a pint. Bartender asks him "What's wrong?" Byte says "Parity error." Bartender nods and says "Yeah, I thought you looked a bit off."
  • Currently 0/5 Stars.
tags: bartender
A man walks into a bar with an apple on his head, and the bartender asks "Why do you have a pear on your head?"

He replies, "It's not a peach, it's a plum!"
  • Currently 1/5 Stars.
tags: bartender
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking it the monkey is running wild. The monkey jumps up on the pool table and grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole.

The bartender is livid and says to the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"

"No. What did that stupid monkey do this time?" says the patron.

"Well, he just swallowed the cue ball off the pool table, whole" says the bartender.

"Yeah, well I hope it kills him because he's been driving me nuts" says the patron.

The guy finishes his drink and leaves.

Two weeks later he comes back with the monkey. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running wild around the bar again. While the man is drinking his drink, the monkey finds some peanuts on the bar. He grabs one, sticks it up his butt, then pulls it out and eats it. The bartender is disgusted.

"Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks.

"What now?" responds the patron. "Well, he stuck a peanut up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it" says the bartender.

"Well, what do you expect?" replied the patron. "Ever since he ate that darn cue ball he measures everything first!"
  • Currently 0/5 Stars.
Results 11 - 21 of 30
Page: 1 2 3