Jokes tagged baby

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There were three Indian squaws. One slept on deerskin; another slept on elk skin; the third slept onthe skin of a hippopotamus. All three became pregnant.Each of the first two had a baby boy. The one whoslept on hippo skin had twin boys. This proves thatthe squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons ofthe squaws of the other two hides.
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tags: indian son baby boy
What did the kangaroo say when her baby was missing?
Help! My pocket's been picked!
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tags: help baby
Where do baby cows go to eat lunch?
At the calf-eteria.
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tags: cow baby
One cutting edge aquarium saved a lot of money when its owner discovered ameans to make the dolphins live forever -- since the dolphins never died, nomoney needed to be spent on buying new ones. Extending the dolphins' livesrequired putting a special mixture into their food; one of the ingredients wasbaby sea gull meat. So one day, one of the workers was sent to the beach tofind some. On the way back, baby sea gulls in hand, he had to pass through aforest. In the middle of the path was a sleeping lion. He very carefullystepped over it, only to be handcuffed by a policeman."Officer," he said, "what's going on?""You're under arrest," said the policeman."But why?" he asked.The policeman replied, "For transporting young gulls across sedate lions forimmortal porpoises."
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tags: police baby
Mrs. Bigger had a baby. Which one was bigger?
The baby. It was a little Bigger.
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tags: baby
A baby seal walks into a club....
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tags: baby seal
A man went to a doctor to have his penis enlarged. Well, this particular procedure involved splicing a baby elephant's trunk onto the man's penis. Overjoyed, the man went out with his best girl to a very fancy restaurant. After cocktails, the man's penis crept out of his pants, felt around the table, grabbed a hard roll and quickly disappeared under the tablecloth. The girl was startled and exclaimed, "What was that?". Suddenly the penis came back, took another hard roll and just as quickly disappeared. The girl was silent for a moment, then finally said, "I don't believe I saw what I think I just saw... can you do that again?" With a bit of an uncomfortable smile the man replied, "Honey, I'd like to, but I don't think my ass can take another hard roll!"
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A woman is in the maternity ward, having just given birth to her baby. The doctor comes in, cradling the child in his arms. As he is about to give it to the woman, he drops it on the ground, kicks it into the wall then throws it out the window.

"OH MY GOD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY BABY?!?!?!"

The doctor turns to her, smiles, and says, "April Fools. It was a stillborn."
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Results 1 - 8 of 8
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